Fortunoff's Child: a Novel by Leslie Tonner

Author:Leslie Tonner
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781504025973
Publisher: Open Road Media

When it comes to trends, I have rotten timing. Take marriage. Two or three years earlier, before I went to Wisconsin, getting married right after college was an acceptable option. Getting married during college was daring and sexy, the early sixties equivalent to living in sin. But what did I do? I married during college in the late sixties just as my entire peer group shed all outmoded, lawful rituals. I married fast and I married young and instead of setting a trend I became the last link to a dying civilization. In the process, however, I managed to spite Maxine which helped my marriage prosper for a time. But nothing lasts forever, least of all a union founded on spiting your mother.

When I telephoned long distance from Madison and told her the exciting news she went into a tizzy, which I found eminently satisfying.

“What do you want to do that for?” she gasped.

“I’m in love.”

“You idiot,” she said. “So are we all.”

What did she mean by that? “Mother, he’s wonderful, so exciting, brilliant—”

“Is he Jewish?”

“Of course.”

“No ‘of course’ about it. In these times you never know. Rachel Grubhart brought home a schvartzer last week. Gave her mother a stroke.”

“Too bad. Where’s Elliot?”

“They sent him to Vietnam. He took along a dozen cases of water-pack tuna and six cartons of matzoh. I don’t think the jungle is particularly kosher.”

“I can’t imagine him in Vietnam. Do you think they have Seders there?”

“I always thought you’d marry someone local,” Maxine pressed on. “Someone from around here.”

“Why’d you think that? You mean Elliot?” The image of Elliot and me grappling in the bushes made me wonder just what I’d given up by being a renegade Jew.

“No,” she said, “but maybe someone like Danny Hundt.”

“Good Lord, where’d you dredge up Danny? Didn’t they move away years ago?”

“Way out on the Island. Think of all that pet food money …”

“I’d never marry anyone who finked out on me. Danny wouldn’t take responsibility for the lung.”

“That lung,” my mother sighed tearily. “Your father should only be here for this.”

“I’m sure he’d like Howard very much,” I said defensively.

“Howard?” my mother said absently. “Who’s Howard?”

“My fiancé. I wrote to you about him. Howard Tuttman. He’s in my year. His father makes Tuttman’s Tonic.”

“That Tuttman. Maybe this isn’t such a bad match after all. They’re very rich. Kings Point, no?”

“He doesn’t take any money from his father.”

“Foolish child. Why not?”

“I gather his father doesn’t offer. A little on the cheap side.”

“We’ll see about that. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get married. Can’t you just keep dating? You aren’t pregnant or anything like that, are you?”

After pregnant what else was there? “No, Mother. You always write in your column how parents have to respect their child’s decision if the child is rational and firm in her conviction.”

“Did I write that?” she mused. “I just changed my mind.”

“Mother, please. I don’t want to do this without your approval.”

“I don’t approve. You mean you’d run off somewhere in cowland and get hitched?”

“Uh-huh.

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